Dear Amy: My amazing daughter and her husband have been together for 15 years. He met in college and stayed together since his first meeting.
We really love her husband, “Danny” and consider her her son.
He has a one -year -old child and we like our grandson completely.
Danny’s job is challenging and is very successful. Our daughter is taking a break from her career to be home with her child, as Danny travels a lot.
In the last weekend, our daughter told us that Danny has cheated her. She is destroyed, and therefore we are. We are very disappointed with him and feels completely deception by him.
Our daughter told us that he and Danny are trying to work. She says that she intends to live together and she wants to marry her completely.
We worry about his self -esteem and think that it is not a good idea for him to marry someone who is unfaithful to him.
My wife and I want him to call a lawyer, but we are torn about sharing my opinion with him.
What do you think?
– Torn parents
Dear Parents: Couples recover from the episode of cheating.
When it comes to your daughter’s marriage, it is a mistake for you to connect with a specific result.
If she asks about your advice, what you believe what he should do, you should be honest with him. Otherwise, keep your opinion with you.
If you share your idea, you should also say that you understand that it is complicated that it is his marriage – not yours – and that you will be in its corner, no matter what.
If she lives with her husband, you should also be honest with her. Tell him (privately) that you are disappointed in his choice but you hope they can recover.
If you keep her down or react with anger, you can paint your daughter in a difficult corner. She could feel the need to defend her and thus could remove herself from you.
Dear Amy: I am originally from Europe and live in Los Angeles for over 55 years – so naturally, I believe my home.
Often in a group setting when I am introduced to new people, I would say that I am from LA.
A woman recently replied saying, “You don’t have LA accents.”
The way it is rude to comment on one’s weight, size, or appearance, I think it is unfair to comment on one’s pronunciation and how they speak/sound.
I do not think it is necessary to divide the country where I spent my childhood years. In addition, I do not want to answer the questions of this nature.
What a response is also required when it was not really a question, but only a statement?
– Dan, in Los Angeles
Dear Dan: I am eager how to pronounce Los Angeles.
Is it popular by “Valley Girls” in the 80s? Kardashian’s low -throat vocal fry? Spanish-affected accents of some of the 50 percent of the population of Los Angeles who are Hispanic?
My point is that in a metropolitan melting vessel like the city of your home, many accents are qualified as “fully la”.
The ruthless perception is to believe that the person you quote, he was really trying to find out if you are “American”, or that means you are not.
This “where are you” intimacy comes as a rude to Americans like you – which will be born elsewhere – because it portrays you as “other”.
The Kinder perception is that someone asking about your pronunciation is looking for a way to connect. They can assume that you and they share an uniform ethnic or regional background. Or they are trying to start a conversation (in a clunk manner).
If it is presented as a question, you can answer: “I live in Los Angeles for more than half a century; This is my hometown. ,
If it is presented as a statement (“You do not have an LA accent,”) You can answer and answer where they have grown.
Or you can say, “Hmm. how about that?”
Dear Amy: “sad and confused” was upset when his long -time friends had originally snatched away several years of holiday fare from under him.
There is a morality among those who rent a hard-to-fit vacation house: The tenants protect their weeks from the brutal weeks, and if friends regret it, it means that friendship is originally over.
– Island tenant
Dear Rentor: I agree.
(You can email Amy Dicinson [email protected] Or send a letter to ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow it Twitter @Askingamy or Facebook.)