Dear Anna,
Recently, I have found myself questioning the nature of my attraction towards a new acquaintance. He is attractive, always has an interesting story to share, and I cannot deny physical attraction. However, I can’t really tell if it is the beginning of developing a short -term crush, or if I just need to lay? It is a minute. Several minutes, really. Ok, month.
How can I tell each other, and more importantly, how should I either handle the situation? My last romantic relationship ended eight months ago, but right now I am focusing more on my career and personal development, so I am not sure I want anything serious. However, I still want to honor my and my perhaps feelings of my crush regardless of my personal motivations. – Reduce true friendship?
Dear DTF,
Do I like this person, or i’m just horny? The dilemma can be timeless as a question of chicken or eggs – except for the yolk on you because it can be both.
To use another strange bird metaphor, the attraction is like a wild turkey – sometimes nervous, sometimes dangerous, and often screaming. Is this your magnetic attraction of your probably and stories that tilt you closely, or is it just a little late and your body is screaming to pay a little physical attention? It is trying to decide if you are hungry or just bored. The fridge is interesting, but do you want to eat, or do you just want to do something?
Generally, a crush involves a curiosity about the person, and not only, the way he fills a sweater vest. It is just a yearning to learn more than their outer shell, the desire to spend quality time simultaneously that does not necessarily finish in complicated sheets. You invest in the plot, not just steam -filled scenes.
On the other hand, laying needs to be laid, more about scratching an itching – the person in question does not really matter much. In addition to obtaining their consent.
He said, this is not for one or the other – you can crush and want to beat this person. Human beings are complex creatures; Wishes are rarely easy to organize or compile; And hormones greatly affect our decisions as much as we want them.
Leading with physical and nothing is wrong to see if the heart follows. This may not be, or it may not be align with your probably, but the more casual attitude of “let’s happen” is a completely legitimate place for the feeling of contingent attitude.
Your focus is currently on career and personal development, it is okay to detect the connections in which “forever” tag may not be attached. The important part is honesty – both with them and with their hot familiarity. Committing your intentions and emotions – if it is also what you want to do – maybe not look very attractive, but it prevents the hearts from turning into collateral damage.
Remember, there is no wrong answer here, only different types of connections. Whether it is a crush or a cosmic cornal call, embrace your feelings that they are. If you want to act on them, do it. If you want to enjoy them only as fantasies, it is fine. But do not run the nuts yourself that there is only one way to make a relationship with someone or move forward.
There are lots of there! About 109 each week, if you read Cosmo.
,
(Anna Puli is a syndicated tribune content agency columnist, who answers questions about love, sex and dating. Send your questions via email (oblivion guarantee) [email protected]Sign up for his involuntary (yet amazing) newspaper or see his books!)