Dear Amy: Twenty years ago, “Saddy” and I divorced after 12 years of marriage and after two children.
Saddy developed a cocaine habit, which destroyed our finance and thrown us into debt. He also had a wire of cases and then divorced me.
After divorce, when I was in shock, “Deanna,” a colleague asked me. Dean and I had a case that lasted for several months.
Although she was a wonderful woman, and I was falling for her, I was not ready. I broke it and left the company for another job.
After taking care of my children after five years, I remarried. Dean married at the same time. Her husband is a terrible person who stare at her.
Now I have heard that Dean, who lives in another state, is in a supportive care facility with MS and with a decline in health.
Although the time was not right for the dean after my divorce and I was always retained – but have not worked on it – my praise and affection for him.
I would like to see Dean before passing, but I think it would be unfair to do so.
I sent a holiday card to her and her husband, which expressed sympathy for her illness.
Should I leave it on it?
– K
Dear K: If you feel that it would be inappropriate to go to an aircraft to visit Inmorta before this long, then carefully examine your objectives, and decide not to do so.
“Dean’s” disease has not looted her her memories or relationships. In addition to your recent contact, you feel that friendship with him has been maintained.
Years ago, when he followed you and both of you engaged in a relationship, you broke with him and left.
My point is that it may not be your fond memories and may not want to see you. And it will not be the best reason for him to feel sorry for him or to close the circle on his own unresolved feelings.
Before stopping at an aircraft, you should contact him at least at least and ask if she would like to travel to you.
Dear Amy: I have a teenage son, “Theo,” from a previous marriage. Theo lived mainly with me and my second wife, “Margaret”.
Theo and I had an extraordinary strong relationship.
Margaret died three months ago. Theo then went back with his biological mother without any clarification.
Everyone tells me that he is unhappy and I need to give him time. I think it’s time to face her choice about her choice to go back with her mother, because I think the real reason she had with her is that life is easy for her without guidelines.
What do you think?
– Sad Dad
Dear Sad Dad: Because you stings to the loss of two moments, I think you should take the issue of “theo” to live with you for now, and focus on ways to maintain positive and compassionate relations with him during this period of extreme changes and instability.
You should pursue grief counseling, which will help you express and work through your sadness and anger.
A certain age (depending on where you live) are legally allowed to choose which parents they want to live with. You should review your custody agreement.
However, in my view, you should not try to force your son legally to return home, unless there is a threat to his health or safety by staying with his mother.
You do not give any details about your wife’s hall passing, and I assume that it was a fairly painful time for both of you. Now both of you are behaving in a way, which is designed to avoid dealing with your grief – or each other – to mold your injured hearts with their vastly converted reality.
Be patient Reach with compassion and anxiety. Provide theo option to see you on weekends. If he would like, and perform your best to become your loving father from a distance.
Dear Amy: I appreciated your advice for the “cheerful donor”, whose “love language” is offering physical gifts, but was disappointed that on her birthday, her friends and family members did not receive it.
Thanks to indicating that calls, texts and card -careful relationships represent, and these are also gifts!
– Thankful
Dear grateful: As I said, “Words of confirmation” is another love language. He should become fluent.
(You can email Amy Dicinson [email protected] Or send a letter to ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow it Twitter @Askingamy or Facebook.)